Fun and games: Ask a TF2 Character!

Ok, we're gonna play a game. This is TF2-Based so for anyone who hasn't played TF2, you might get a bit confused here. So to start off, I'll ask a question. The next person replies in the persona of the TF2 character that just got questioned. (Example: To Pyro: Are you a boy or a girl or a...thing? *Next Poster*Pyro: Hudda.) Then at that point, the poster that just played the persona asks the next question in the same post. Have fun. Remember. One at a time people. Don't reply to a question that's already been answered, and don't ask a question after a new question has been asked. This makes things more confusing than they have to be, people.

You ask one first. o-o

To Heavy: How can you lug around your Minigun, Shotgun, AND your Fists?

Heavy read tiny blue fishes question...
Heavy go through rigorous training routine every day, eat plenty of sandvich. Sandvich is delicious, and give you energy!

My Sasha is tiny pillow compared to weights I lift, see Heavy big muscle? You do not get that by dancing across field and playing jump rope like Scout.

And shotgun? Shotgun is toothpick! What effort you need to carry pillow and toothpick, tiny blue fish?
_____
Dear Spy, what's it like being a literal backstabbing poser?

*You're supposed to ask a question after you answered one o_o'*

I didn't. :3

Spy: I would hardly zhink I am a "poser", Monsieur Shell, I am how I was designed. *He is told not to break through the fourth wall and he rolls his eyes as he takes a cigarette from his case and lights it up, taking his time to breathe in the cancer before exhaling.* If you must know about my job, it is razher enjoyable and pays well, but zhe best zhing about it is zhe look on zheir faces as my knife stabs into zheir backs and severs zheir spines. *He gives a smirk at the thought, but then his breath suddenly hitches and his face contorts into pain as he falls forward with a knife in his back.*

Spy: Like zhat? *He gives a small chuckle as he kneels down to remove his knife from his counterpart's back and wipes the blood off with a cloth.* Hopefully zhat has answered your question, Monsieur Shell.

　
----------
　

This is freakin' awesome. *Grins, then clears her throat and observes the mercenaries.* Hmmm... Ah! *Claps her hands and points at the Scotsman.* Demo, what's so great about that bottle 'a Scrumpy?

Demoman: Ay mate, everything is great about this bottle 'a Scrumpeh! Firstly, lad, it can hold'n infinite amount of my favorite brand of Scotsman's alcohol! Even if the bottle is broken! Secondly, it can be used to bash in any eye-prancin' blockheads that so happen to be within the arm-range of the great Tavish DeGroot! Thirdly....*Snores loudly and wakes up* eh.... *Belches, and spouts out gibberish and balderdash*...*Not but a moment later, tumbles down and curls up into the fetal position*

---------------------------
Aha. Now for my question.... What makes Hats and Metal so valuable?

Soldier: "What makes hats and metal so valuable?" WHAT MAKES HATS AND METAL SO VALUABLE?! Private Kip, do you even understand the question you have just asked?! Hats and metal are everything! Especially the hats! Do you expect us to go out there on the battlefield without looking pretty?! Do you know the humiliation of being teased by the enemy?! Not in my war, maggot! If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you damn well better look pretty! God help you if you do not look pretty, or I'd suggest you make metal right this instant and go out there on a shopping spree! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?! GOOD!

----------

Dear gods, that was fun. Hope that sounded good enough like Solly. Now then... Ahhhmm... Engi! Which cute li'l sentry's the best an' why: the level one sentry gun or the combat mini-sentry gun?

Pretty boy kevin: so anyone is a chick? do u want to come over to my place to party? i got all the swag.

>_> This isn't a dating site, Kev.